Typing ‘third age’ into Google in order to check on our website, I was stunned to be deluged with websites and YouTube links for ‘Third Age – Total War’. This is apparently the hot new video game based on the Lord of the Rings. Not being a follower of the L of the R ‘saga’ and having long ago forgotten the details of the book I read to my children, I don’t know if ‘third age’ is an accepted term in the middle kingdom – nor even if it is, what it means. Please enlight me.
But more to the point – what should we authentic ‘thirdagers’ do. Attack? Surrender? Maybe join forces? Is there a role for us in the Middle Kingdom?
But wait. Maybe we just need to bide our time. I see that ‘Fourth Age: Total War’ has just been released and (as I’m sure you all know) the ‘fourth age’ is that (hopefully very short because we’ve been so stimulated and active in our third age) period of our lives when we return to dependency leading to death. So just imagine all those fierce warriors falling into pathetic decline – armoured warriors with zimmer frames? The mind boggles! Or perhaps we can look forward to ‘Terminal drop: Total War’ when, lemming-like, they all rush (unable to see through their armoured visors) off a steep cliff and plunge, with an all-mightly clanging of armour, to their deaths!
PS: ‘terminal drop’ is, I believe an authentic statistical term denoting the sudden death of someone not yet in their fourth age.